Vaseline Vexation

You might think I am a bit OCD for saying this, but just look at what my mum did to my lip balm! She asked me if she could use it one day and she mooshed a big hole in the middle that goes right down to the bottom! Doesn’t everybody know the lip balm code? You don’t gouge! You dab! At the time I just let it go, but now the outrage has been stewing...

No, I’m actually not retarded, thanks

My parents are overseas at the moment and we are grateful for some time alone. Not least because of the way they act towards us when we’re staying with them. You see, Wes and I do not get up at 5am. We do not run marathons. We stay up late and like to eat chocolate. As a result, they kind of treat us like we’re a bit retarded. You should see the list my mum left us on how to look after the house while they are away. Do you think someone who has a degree and has been living independently for 9 years might know NOT to turn the fridge off at the power point??